February 4, 2010

Rabid Rewind: The Hitcher


Title: The Hitcher
Starring: Sophia Bush, Zachary Knighton, Sean Bean
Directed by: Dave Meyers
Released: 2006 by Alliance Atlantis
Genre: Horror

I'll just jump right to the main point about this movie. It's terrible. And I'm being kind.

My first warning sign was the talk from other horror fans, especially those who'd seen the original, which basically panned this as a poor excuse of a remake. But that's levied against all remakes, so I took it with a grain of salt. But my second warning sign should have really hammered the point home. It's produced by Michael Bay.

That man is not responsible for one horrible summer blockbuster (Transformers), he's responsible for two (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen). And that's only the very recent history, as I could name other lemons. So, I sit down to watch The Hitcher with expectations that are as low as humanly possible. And I still end up sorely disappointed.

This movie was so bad, I have now lost all interest in ever watching the original. It's a cult classic with many a horror fan, but it's been ruined for me. If the plot--and I used that term quite charitably--of the original is as disjointed, shallow, and uninspired as the remake, I want none of it.

Two redeeming qualities of the film are: 1) Sean Bean as the psychopathic serial killer. The guy is fun to watch on screen and despite having very little to work with regarding his character, he plays it to the hilt with no apologies; 2) The camera work was done very well, as it made the atrocious nature of the story being told at least bearable to watch for 80 minutes.

I could complain at great lengths about what is now etched in my mind as one of the worst movies of the last decade--even worse than those Transformers debacles--but I've afforded far too many words to this review already.

I repeat, it's terrible. The saving grace for me is that I borrowed this from the library, so not a dime from me will trickle down to the greedy paws of those who lay claim to it. Do yourselves a favor and protect your money from this horrible piece of cinema, too.

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